


Trash Demons: A Demon Reylo/Trash Triplets Crossover Event

by AKyloDarkly83 (ksquared83)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Adultery, Angst in general, Cunnilingus, Daisy is a Dork Bean, Demon Reylo AU, Demon Sex, Demons doing mischief, F/M, Family Secrets, It all works out don't worry, Lilithsaur why do you have such awesome AU ideas?, Mildly Dubious Consent, Multi, NSFW, Naughty language, Tempting Infidelity, Trash Triplets - Freeform, and so is matt, blowjob, but that's the point, don't mind if I do, magical spells, obviously, relationship angst, sexual shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-18 12:18:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16994868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksquared83/pseuds/AKyloDarkly83
Summary: An adulterous bet between amorous monsters Lilith and Lucifer goes horribly wrong for the Trash Triplets, resulting in the revelation of a tawdry secret between one of the Kenobi sisters and a Solo brother that threatens to make things... terribly awkward.





	1. Matt & Daisy

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by @lilithsaur on Tumblr and elsewhere, I'd written a Demon Reylo AU before but I was intrigued by the Trash Triplets characters she drew and, well, being me, I decided 'why not have a supernatural crossover'? So here we are! Hope you enjoy, comments and Kudos are always appreciated!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt and Daisy prepare for a typical Saturday morning until she leaves to pickup donuts. Kira, who's been staying with them since breaking up with Ben, decides to provoke Matt in ways that conjure up old memories he'd locked away.

  
Matt sighed as he swiped past job after low paying job. Being unemployed sucked, not only because he struggled to pay his bills but that it made a beautiful Saturday morning like this feel like just another day. He had already been struggling before he got laid off but now he was desperate to find anything even if it was out of his field. He didn’t want to drag Daisy down with him, not so soon after they’d gotten married, but he couldn’t help but feel anxious at the uncertainty of it all.  
  
Fortunately, his wife, as usual, was just too good for him. When she came out of the bedroom she leaned over the couch to kiss him on his temple.“Morning, early bird! Any worms yet?”  
  
He tossed his phone onto the cushion beside him and turned on the TV. “Only the gummy ones. God, none of these places are even offering anything close to what I was making. This fucking economy is a joke and what’s worse is we've only been in this house for what, two years now and now I can’t even…” he stopped himself from saying it, remembering to be more aware of his negative self-talk.  
  
“Hey, it’s okay! We’ve still got some savings and I’m making enough to hold us over. Don’t let it wear your shields down! We’ll make it through this!” Daisy wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. He squeezed her arm feeling better already.  That was always part of what made her magical to him, her ability to calm his anxiety before it started.  
  
Matt looked up at her dimpled smile.  How had he gotten so lucky?  How could someone be so optimistic and loving even in the darkest of times? Maybe that’s why Daisy Kenobi was a Solo now, because she was the light to his dark, the pep to his step, the snark to his grump. Whatever she was to him, she completed him and that was all that mattered.  
  
“If you say so, then I believe you,” he agreed.  
  
“I do say so! We just made some bad rolls, that’s all. We’ll hit a critical next time!  Nat 20's all the way down the board.”  
  
He chuckled at that. Having a partner who played D&D with him and understood his humor was one of the single greatest attributes he could have asked for. He never had Kylo’s confidence or Ben’s arrogance, but Daisy, of all the Kenobi sisters, clung to him like the soft side of velcro and made him stronger, which is why he felt so terrible that he couldn’t reciprocate such support being jobless.  
  
He smiled warmly back at her. “I know we will. It's just anxiety, that's all.”  
  
“I know,” she said as she pressed her forehead against his. “Maybe some coffee will cheer you up?  Some donuts? Krispyyyy kremeeee?” She added in a sing-song voice.  
  
“Ooh, that would be amazing, but I really don’t feel like going anywhere just yet. I need at least fifteen more minutes of sulking before I can be productive.”  
  
Daisy rolled her eyes at him then adjusted her glasses before she replied, “Okay, fine! I’ll go pick some up.”  
  
“Please drive safe,” he quickly added.  
  
“Will do.” Daisy said giving him a good luck kiss before moving toward the front door. Just before she reached for the handle, she turned back and added, “Oh and if the ‘troll’ gets up before I get back—,”  
  
“Not likely,” Matt interjected.  
  
“— Yeah, well, ask her if she wants anything, shoot me a text anyway.”  
  
“Sure thing,” he sighed indifferently.  
  
“Byeeee.”  
  
Daisy opened the door and left. Moments later Matt heard gravel crack beneath the tires of their Prius as she pulled away.  
  
“Oh Kira,” he sighed with annoyance. The ‘troll’ was Daisy’s choice nickname for her sister, who’d been renting their second bedroom for the third time in two years because of her on and off again relationship with Ben, Matt’s equally inconsistent and troublesome brother.  
  
They’d intended on renting the room out, possibly for an Air BNB kind of deal to help with bills but Kira showed up nearly a month ago with a bag, puffy eyes and smeared makeup. Matt knew immediately that her relationship had returned to the ‘off’ position, so they took her in. Fortunately, she was responsible enough to pay rent, but it wasn’t the amount they’d hoped to charge randos from the internet to stay with them. Still it worked out for the time being.  
  
Kira was also notorious for sleeping in on the weekends, but a curious thought crossed his mind like a half-remembered dream. Matt could’ve sworn that she had already left because he heard the door open and close when he rolled over and went back to sleep this morning. That’s precisely why, when he heard her bedroom door open, he was somewhat surprised.  
  
“Wow, you’re up early,” he quipped over his shoulder. She giggled lightly before walking up behind the couch, rustling his hair and kissing the top of his head.  
  
“Morning sexy,” she teased.  Matt froze.  
  
“Uhhh, morning?”  He was baffled immediately, she was never this happy in the morning, in fact Kira was the very opposite of a 'morning person' and he was about to follow up with a sarcastic comment when he nearly choked on his words seeing her. Kira had always been somewhat exhibitionist and had zero problems walking across the living room without pants on but considering she stepped into the kitchen wearing only a pair of sheer cut black panties and absolutely nothing else, Matt felt an awkward, albeit familiar, heat rise in his cheeks. Kira winked at him as she opened the fridge, slowly bent over in a way that he could see every feminine curve, and retrieved a seltzer water.  
  
“Are you, um, feeling alright, Kira?” He managed to say.  
  
His thoughts went immediately to more primitive places that made him ashamed to consider, so he turned away from her at once.  
  
“Oh, I’m fine. What about you? You look a bit flushed.” She said as she sipped her water and began to approach. The glint of her barbell nipple piercings bounced lightly with each step. Almost as a reaction, he looked at her again and blanched before forcing himself to look away.  
  
Kira chuckled. “What’s the matter? It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked before.”  
  
She sat directly beside him on the couch, though it was clearly made for three, then she leaned forward on one arm until her warm lips were practically touching his ear.  
  
“It’s not like you haven’t fucked me before either. You never forget your first time, do you?  
  
Matt was paralyzed with a shockingly hard erection forcing the fabric of his grey briefs through the open slit in his pajama bottoms. He took several deep breaths before composing himself enough to reply.  
  
“I thought… we’d agreed to never talk about that again? I haven’t said anything to anyone, not even my brothers."  
  
Kira took another sip of her water before setting it down on the table, giving him an ample view of her beautifully soft ass. When she turned back around, she forced him back against the sofa as she mounted him and rubbed her plainly obvious wetness against his hard-on.  
  
“I haven’t said anything either, sweetie, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still think about it.” She kissed his ear, nibbling his lobe gently as she added, “Thinking about the feel of your cock inside of me, about the little moan you gave when you filled that condom.” Kira giggled wickedly as she rubbed her hands all over him.  
  
Matt struggled to stay composed, but it was as though some unseen force had compelled him to reach around and squeeze the meat of her ass.  His lips trembled and ached for hers but he managed to say, “I’m… married to your sister. We can’t… do this.”  
  
“She doesn’t need to know, does she? I’m not gonna tell her; are you?”  
  
“That’s not—,” a wave of disorientation came over him before he recovered, “— that’s not the point. I love her and I won’t cheat on her, regardless of our history.  
  
Kira rubbed her mound on his throbbing helmet as she stared into his eyes. “That’s fine, you don’t have to fuck me again; I’m having as much fun just grinding on you until you squirt. No one will know, I promise.” Kira pressed her lips to his and Matt’s world turned upside down.  
  
He felt utterly drunk on lust and desire as Kira’s cunt drove him toward imminent release. His hands ran up and down her body, grabbing, pinching and teasing every button and nerve that could possibly make her moan but still he wanted more.  
  
Kira breathed hot and heavy against his neck. “Oh, that’s good, just keep it right there, baby. I’ll take care of you, I promise. I looove our dirty little secrets!”  
  
For some reason, hearing the word ‘love’ triggered sudden, vivid memories in Matt’s mind. For a moment he felt as though he were outside of his own body as he looked down at Daisy’s freckled face reading her vows to him with a tremor in her voice. She’d nearly dropped the card and everyone in the audience shared a friendly chuckle. Suddenly, he smiled as she let out one of her trademark ‘giggle-snorts’ as she scrolled through her feed and laughed at some funny meme on her phone but a moment later, he was holding her in his arms as she sobbed into his chest from one of her crippling anxiety attacks, though less frequent than his own, they had always been far worse.  
  
That was Daisy.  
  
That was the woman he loved.  
  
That was the Kenobi sister who loved him for who he was and who he’d pledged his life to. Now Kira was on top of him drawing him near to cumming in his undies when his eyes snapped open and he was fully lucid again.  
  
Matt would never hit a woman, especially not one of the Kenobi sisters, but he had zero problems with lifting Kira up and tossing her onto the sofa beside him. Afraid and angry, he shot to his feet, not caring about the throbbing tent he was pitching in his PJ's.  
  
“What… the… absolute… fuck, Kira? What’s wrong with you?”  
  
He’d expected her to be mad, pissed even, but instead, she looked up at him with curiosity in her eyes.  
  
“Impressive… there aren’t many mortals who can resist me,” she said.  
  
It took a moment for Matt to register what he’d just heard. What was she talking about, mortals? It didn't make any sense but neither did the realization that Kira’s voice wasn’t Kira’s voice anymore. It was deeper and silkier.  It had power and authority to it, he'd never heard before.  
  
“Wait, what did you say?” He blinked with disbelief, but when he looked at her again, he saw that Kira’s eyes weren’t Kira’s eyes either. They were glowing yellow with black slits and as she swung her leg down to the floor, Kira rose to her feet, not under her own power but as though the air itself had lifted her off of the sofa.  
  
“You are a special one, I’ll give you that,” she said with a smirk, then with a snap of her fingers, she burst into flame.  
  
“JESUS FAAAAKKKK,” Matt shot back in horror, but the flames lasted only an instant before another woman entirely stood before him, a woman no less alluring and no less dangerous.  
  
Her skin was deep reddish beige as if tanned like leather, and tribal tattoos snaked up and down her curvaceous body. She had small metal cups pasted to her breasts, preserving what little modesty she had and a flowing, semi-transparent skirt that partly concealed her form but still revealed what looked like jeweled panties. She was regal, almost queen like with an elaborate gold collar about her neck but most notably where the two small horns protruding from her forehead and pointed fangs that accentuated her smile.  
  
“Well, hello Matthew. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance properly. I suppose it’s only fair that I introduce myself. I’m Lilith,” she said as she held out her dainty hand with black talons extending from her fingertips.  
  
Matt was frozen with terror but managed to squeak, “Hi?” When he didn’t extend his hand, she reached down and took it in her own, giving it a quick shake.  
  
“It’s okay, sweetie, just breathe. Yes, I’m a demon, No I’m not going to hurt you,” she said amicably.  
  
“D-d-demon? What the fuuuuck?”  
  
“I know it’s a lot to take in, but hear me out.”  
  
Matt screamed.  
  
He screamed loudly and until he nearly passed out, all while Lilith winced and waited for him to finish. Eventually, he couldn’t scream any longer but stared in amazement, or was he lightheaded from a lack of oxygen? It didn’t matter in either case because he was done.  
  
“Are you finished?” She inquired.  
  
Matt’s legs gave out from under him, but with a flick of her finger, Lilith flung a dining room chair beneath him before he hit the ground. He sat and gawked at her, still unable to believe what he was seeing. She strutted toward him with a sympathetic smile before she calmly, deliberately straddled him once again.  
  
He flinched at her weight pressing down on his thighs, but this time she wasn’t grinding her cunt on his hard-on either. Instead, she leaned in to kiss him quickly on the lips, which seemed to once again ease his anxiety and give him back some semblance of comprehension.  
  
"Better?"  She asked.  
  
“What — what’s happening and why are you doing this?” He managed to say, looking into her burning eyes.  
  
The creature smirked. “You were losing it, so I calmed you down a bit, that’s all. But I suppose if you really must know… I was trying to seduce you.  Obviously."  
  
"Sure, obviously, b-but why?"  
  
She smirked, flashing small pointed teeth, "Well, you see I kind of made a small bet with my husband, Lucifer, ruler of Hell. We’ve been fascinated by the six of you for some time, it’s been like watching Reality TV actually and well, we don’t get cable in the Underworld.”  
  
“A Bet? Cable? Lucifer?" Matt struggled to understand what was happening but his rational mind still couldn’t comprehend things like the ‘underworld’ or 'Hell' being a real thing. Magic and demons he understood all too well because of his Dungeons & Dragons campaigns but those were fantasy. This was… too much.  
  
Lilith demured somewhat before adding, “My poor dear, it was just a little bit of fun we had cooked up. We wanted to see who could sleep with all three siblings first. I chose you Solo boys, obviously, and my husband chose the sisters.”  
  
“You chose us?  Wait, the sisters… are you saying that your husband slept with my wife?” Matt said angrily.  
  
Lilith shrank back a bit. “I’m starting to see how this might be upsetting to you mortals with your ridiculous traditions and monogamous relationships, but no… as far as I’ve heard, he hasn’t quite made it this far yet.  So far, I'm in the lead."  She giggled mischievously.  
  
“Y-you talk about it like some kind of… game!”  
  
She cocked her head to the side. “For your information, mister, no one was supposed to know that they were sleeping with a demon; we wanted only to satisfy your deepest desire. You, however, managed to resist me —,” she pointed a clawed finger at him “— which is why I’m so impressed! Most humans, men especially, would cream their jeans in moments when the girl of their dreams took them for a ride, but despite your obvious infatuation and history with Kira, you actually, genuinely are in love with Daisy and I think that’s just adorable!”  She booped him on the nose just then.  
  
Matt didn’t know what to think, partly because he still had a raging hard-on because this demon woman was sitting on him and partly because, in a way, she had actually proved his fidelity to his wife. It was true that he'd always had soft spot for Kira since she took his virginity, but they'd agreed to never discuss it and he'd kept his word and remained faithful to Daisy.  He loved her more than life itself, but yes, on occasion, he had inappropriate thoughts about her sister as well, especially those times when she walked out with no pants on.  Was that how this demon knew?  
  
"Did you probe my mind?  How'd you know what my secrets are?"  
  
"Oh, sweetheart, that's a trade secret of the Lilithean, I'm afraid, and besides, it doesn't matter anyway because I clearly misread you."  
  
"But how'd you get in here?  Where's Kira?  Did you hurt her?"  
  
“Hurt her?  Oh goodness no, Kira is perfectly safe," Lilith rolled her eyes, "Though my husband may be fucking her at this very moment, or not, I'm not sure.  Look, big guy, I’ll cut you a deal. How about you and I just part amicably right here. I’ll call off the bet, I mean it’s too late for your brother, but I promise I won’t let Lucifer touch your wife and we’ll call it even, okay?” She held out her hand to shake.  
  
Matt looked at it, then at her. “My brother? What do you mean it's 'too late'? And who did you… do?”  
  
She scoffed. “Look, it's just sex and he thought I was someone else. No one got hurt but since you caught on to our little scheme, I’m trying to prevent the rest of you from unnecessary heartache. Is it a deal or not? I mean, if not well…” she looked down at his erection before sliding her hands across his thighs.  
  
Matt flinched away and put his hand out instead. “Yeah… sure, okay. We got a deal, j-just don’t tell anyone, okay?”  
  
Lilith smirked, flashing her fangs again. “Okay, fine. A deal’s a deal. No one needs to know about any of this.”  
  
It was that exact moment that the front door opened and Daisy stepped inside with a coffee tray in one hand and a half dozen box of Krispy Kremes in another.  
  
“Ooh, babe, they totally have Christmas flavors now, so I got…” she froze the instant she saw them.  
  
Matt and Lilith both turned to meet her shocked expression. That’s when Daisy lost… her… shit.  
  
“Matt… who the fuck is that?”  
  
“Hold on, I can…” Matt said but she didn’t let him answer. She glared at Lilith.  
  
“Who the FUCK are you? Why the fuck are you sitting on my husband? GET THE FAKK OFF MY MANNN, BITCH!” She screamed.  
  
Lilith smiled politely, giving Matt one final look. “Wow, that’s a temper. Welp, I tried my best but I think it’s time to leave. Toodles!” She said as she waved and stood up. A moment later, she snapped her fingers and disappeared into a burst of flame.  
  
Daisy shrieked, dropping the coffee and donuts with a splash. Matt shot up from his chair to try and placate her.  
  
“Babe, sweetheart, senpai I can explain EVERYTHING!”  
  
“WATHAFAKKJUSHAPPENEDOMIGODJESUSCHRIST,” Daisy stammered in a panic.  
  
“Hold on, just breathe! Just breeeeeathe!”  
  
He slowly approached her until she tore her eyes away from the spot where Lilith had just been, then she looked down and pointed.  
  
“Do you… have an… erection?” She said in a small voice.  
  
Matt looked down, embarrassed that yes, indeed, he was still pitching a tent. He put up a finger.  
  
“Ah… I can… also explain,” he replied with a squeak.


	2. Rey & Kylo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey, having finished a vigorous workout, feels frisky and plans to surprise Kylo in bed for some good morning wake up sex, only to find him already awake and acting somewhat peculiar.

Rey took a long draught from her water bottle as she lowered the speed of the elliptical. Setting it back into the holder, she gripped the monitoring handles to get a readout on her pulse and from the sweat she’d worked up, she knew it had been a good session for a Saturday morning.  
  
Her thighs and calves burned just right and she was already looking forward to mandatory cold shower afterward, but then she remembered that Kylo was still fast asleep in bed, so helpless… and alone. A wicked smile pulled at her cheeks as she ended her cooldown a minute sooner than normal.  
  
Dabbing her forehead with her towel, she stepped off the elliptical and took another swig of water before leaving the den and making her way to their bedroom. Rey stopped to look herself over in the mirror in the hall. She was sweaty, and her face was flushed of course, but she was pleased to see that her ass and thighs had a bit more curve to them, especially in these shorts. She smiled and actually felt good about what she saw, but there was one more thing she had to do of course.  
  
Rey pulled the hair tie out of her solitary bun, letting her sweat damped locks fall loosely over her shoulders. She ran her hand through it to give it a bit more of a rugged ‘warrior out of the jungle’ look. Kylo was a total softie for his sweaty, post-workout fiancé so she was going to play the part.  
  
“That’s better,” she said at last and approached the bedroom.  
  
She opened the door slowly, hoping to catch a peek of her suave and dashing hunk of a man still asleep, possibly with his face buried in the pillow, or maybe drowning in a small puddle of drool as he was known to do, but to her surprise, he wasn’t in bed. Instead, Kylo muttered something just out of sight.  
  
“Well, the human does have good taste, I’ll give him that.”  
  
Rey thought that was an odd thing to say, but then Kylo probably heard her come in and was just messing with her. She quietly pushed open the door a little more and abruptly stopped to admire the view. He was inspecting his black silk bathrobe trimmed in red piping but his wide, muscled back, thick toned legs that could lift a house and that lovely bulge packed into his tight CK boxer briefs caused her heart rate to skyrocket all over again.  
  
In fact, she almost got downright angry at the sight. How dare he just stand there looking like that and not be immediately arrested? She decided to be the naughty one for a change, so she zeroed in on that glorious ass as she crept into the bedroom.  
  
He’d been so distracted by his bathrobe he failed to notice as she wound up a silent swing of her arm and delivered a resounding smack to his ‘gluteus deliciousness’ that rocked him out of his curious reverie.  
  
“Dearest me, well good morning to you, my dear!” He gasped as he dropped the robe and rounded on her with a surprised smile.  
  
“Morning, sweet stuff. I thought you’d still be sleeping,” she casually stated.  
  
He grinned back at her with a mischievous gleam in his eye. “Oh well, you know me. A beautiful morning like this shouldn’t go to waste should it?”  
  
Rey pressed him against the dresser as she ran her right hand across his thigh. Biting her lower lip she whispered, “Funny, I was thinking exactly that, only I’d hoped to ‘wake you up’ instead. Since you’re here, and severely overdressed, I might just have to take these off.” She eased her hands into the brim of his boxer briefs until she had her hands firmly planted on his ass.  
  
Pushing down, she lowered them enough for them to fall loosely by themselves, leaving her fiancé’s rapidly swelling cock vulnerable to imminent assault.  
  
“You are one thirsty girl this morning,” he observed with a raised brow.  
  
She looked into his eyes as she fell to her knees and took his cock in her sweat damped hand. “Well, you know… working out always gets me… up.” Rey licked him from base to tip, circling her tongue around his frenulum before she pulled him into her mouth and worked her lips until he swelled to full mast.  
  
“Oh, dear father, God... Oh my… it would seem I severely underestimated your skills. I am most impressed,” Kylo said.  
  
Again, that seemed an odd thing to say because it definitely wasn’t the first blowjob she’d given him, but he was probably in that 'roleplay' mood so she went with it; Rey needed him to be fully prepared for what came next. She gave him a few extra pumps as she stood and and guided him toward the bed.  
  
“Ah, I’m beginning to think you want me to ‘actively participate’ in your morning workout routine,” he mused. Rey was in the midst of shimmying off her sports bra when she replied.  
  
“Something like that, though I have to warn you that I’m kinda sweaty and disgusting right now.”  
  
Kylo’s smile widened with an animalistic hunger as he leaned over her, bracing his fists into the firm mattress. “Oh nonsense!  There is nothing disgusting about a woman in the heights of physical exertion. If anything it only enhances the taste.”  
  
“Excuse me?” She asked with genuine surprise. He’d brought his hands up to her hips and slid them into the waistband of her workout shorts.  
  
Kylo tugged lightly until Rey fell back onto the mattress, then with wicked delight in his eyes, he slowly peeled her stretch workout shorts and panties away before tossing them aside.  A moment later, she realized exactly what he was doing.  
  
"Um, wow, this is a surprise.  I'm not the only one in a mood this morning, it seems," Rey gloated as Kylo fell to his knees between her sore thighs and let his tongue fill a desire she didn't even know she had until then.  He'd gone down on her once or twice before, but it wasn't really his 'thing' which she didn't mind so much but when he did it, she was transported to a galaxy far, far away.  
  
“Oh, fuck baby, that should be illegal, ohhhh.”  She moaned out loud.  
  
Kylo let up just long enough to reply, “It probably is in Florida and Alabama, maybe Texas." He resumed his oral ministrations while squeezing her bud between his fingers.  
  
Rey was giddy with pleasure as she reached down to grab hold of his head of lush, black hair. “Okay, you have to tell me… is this some kind of kinky role play you’ve got going on, or what? I love the formality but it’s kinda… out of the blue.”  
  
She felt him hesitate a second before he peered up from between her thighs again and said with an exaggerated Southern drawl, “Woulja prefer ah talk like thess, lil lady?”  
  
Rey busted out laughing to the point she had to cover her mouth. Kylo stood and leaned over her with his wet, wicked smile beaming down on her.  She could smell her scent on him from here.  
  
“I’ll take that as a ‘no’, my dear. Though I don’t think what happens next will require much talking.” He said the words with a low growl that drove her absolutely wild. Then his broad, but gentle hands took her by the hips and pulled her bottom toward the edge of the mattress. Rey had never been more ready to be fucked than she was right now.  
  
The bedroom door opened.  "Babe, your phone's blowing up.  I think it's Daisy and she's,--" Kylo said before stopping in the doorway when he saw the two of them.  
  
“Kylo?” Rey looked up at him to see the shock on his face.  
  
"Rey?"  Kylo said in shock.  
  
She immediately looked back at the man between her legs. “Kylo?  WAT THA FAK? WHO ARE YOU, GET THE FAK AWAY FROM ME!” She kicked the intruder back and retreated to the head of the bed where she wrapped herself in the sheets.  
  
Naked Kylo sighed with obvious annoyance. “So this is how my day is going to go, is it? Please, calm down, friends, I can explain everything!” He held out his hands placatingly.  
  
The real Kylo had his phone out in one hand while Rey's phone continued to ring in the other. “Oh yeah, fucker? You can explain to the cops!”  
  
Naked Kylo barked a laugh. “Oh, that’s rich. Oh yes, the cops are going to show me who’s boss. Perhaps it’s just easier if I simply do this.” With a snap of his fingers, the naked Kylo burst into flames only to reappear as a pale-skinned nightmare wrapped in shimmering black cloth with obsidian horns curling from his darkly beautiful head.  
  
Rey gasped in shock and Kylo dropped the phones, but the Dashing Nightmare Prince standing before them gestured broadly with his clawed hands.  
  
“Greetings, mortals. I... am Lucifer… yes that very same one,” he said, pointing to Kylo as though he were about to ask a question but was clearly too scared shitless to form words  
  
“I can see that I’ve caused a bit of a panic, possibly shock and/or mental anguish and for that, I humbly apologize. It was just a simple bet and normally I’m quite good at making love with mortals without anyone catching on, but, well… it seems we all have our off days, am I right?”  
  
Kylo, barely able to restrain his shock, let alone rage, shot back, “You were going… to fuck… my fiance?”  
  
“I assure you it was completely consensual, my friend. She ASS-aulted my bottom first, in fact!” Lucifer said with a delighted laugh.  
  
Dumbstruck and on the edge of tears, she replied, “I thought you were HIM!” She pointed to Kylo. An instant later, she turned to him. “And where the HELL were you? I thought you were here, sleeping!”  
  
Kylo looked genuinely angered by her accusation. “ME? I was in the garage! I got up just after you went to workout. Didn’t you see me?”  
  
Now Lucifer held up his finger. “Ah, I may have had something to do with that. A little illusion spell here or there made it so that you didn’t see each other in the living room, so technically Kylo was indeed still in the bedroom… except that it was me.”  
  
“W-what are you going to do to us?” Rey asked clutching the bed sheets to her body. Kylo was slowly creeping over to her side of the bed, trying not to provoke the creature.  
  
“Oh my dear, I’m so sorry! I know this is frightening but I assure you, I never would have hurt you. It was just a silly little game between my Queen and me, that’s all. We do this all the time.  Had everything gone according to plan, you would have had the best Saturday morning of your life and I would have left and no one would have been the wiser.”  
  
He smiled warmly at the both of them as Kylo wrapped his arms protectively around Rey.  
  
“I can see that you don't share my good humor on the situation.  Perhaps, it’s time for me to leave. You two clearly need to sort some things out, so… toodles!” He waggled his fingers before bursting into flames and vanished in a puff of smoke and ash.  
  
Rey and Kylo sat there in shocked silence for a long moment before they turned to look at each other in disbelief.  
  
“What… the fuck was that?” He asked with a trembling voice.  
  
For once, Rey didn’t have an answer, but a moment later her phone rang again.  It was on the floor.  Kylo picked it up and handed it to her.  
  
"It's Daisy again."  
  
Rey took it and answered with a hollow voice.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Omigod, Rey thank goodness you’re there!” Daisy sounded in an outright panic as she added, “You are not going to believe what just happened to us!”  
  
“Oh,” Rey said too calmly, “Don’t worry, sis. I’ll believe it.” She looked over at Kylo again.  
  
“I’ll believe anything you say right now.”  
  
  



	3. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben is angry and confused as he drives aimlessly around town. Thinking he'd worked things out with Kira, he gets a text from the others concerning her whereabouts and has to find out what, if anything, has happened to her.

Ben pumped the brakes too hard at the light and came to a stop with a chirp of his tires.  
  
“Fuck me,” he cursed. Even now, when she wasn’t even in the car with him, Kira was fucking up his life. How could a woman have so much power over him that he couldn’t get her out of his mind long enough to safely operate a vehicle, much less resemble a functional adult? His anger flared again and he slapped the steering wheel in anger.  
  
Pennywise’ “Fuck Authority” blasted from his 12” Sub in the trunk, rattling every inch of the old Ford Falcon. His car may have been a genuine, American Made Piece of Shit but he’d be damned if he didn’t have the best sound system he could afford. Casually looking over, he saw a grey haired old lady in a rusty Honda Accord glaring at him disapprovingly.  
  
He looked away quickly, muttering, “Fuck you,” under his breath. The turn signal changed and the old lady puttered away. It came as no surprise when he saw the MAGA sticker plastered across her bumper and a literal school of Jesus fish crowding her trunk lid so he flipped her off for good measure before his light turned green and he stomped on the accelerator.  
  
The 4.9L 302 let out a guttural roar as he peeled off the line and with a puff of smoke from his tires, he resumed brooding about Kira. How had everything gone so wrong? He kept thinking about their fight and how he wished he could take back all the petty shit he’d said, but then he remembered all the petty shit she had said too.  
  
“Goddammit, fuck her, she’s crazy,” he growled as he thought about her staying at Daisy and Matt’s place and him sulking and drunk alone, but then he thought about what happened last night and his chest hurt all over again.  
  
It all felt so surreal, so perfect. She had come over around 8:30ish all soft and doughy-eyed, he’d literally confessed his true feelings, finally, not holding anything back and she’d… forgiven him. Him, of all people! Even as they slipped out of their clothes he knew he didn’t deserve her forgiveness, but Kira didn’t seem to care. Everything was perfect; in fact, it was probably the best sex he’d had since, well, ever… and then sometime in the night she just bolted.  
  
He rolled over to put his arm around her this morning like he always did, but she was gone. No clothes, no phone, no keys, just gone as though she weren’t even there to begin with.  
  
He glared at his phone mounted in the AC vent, still reeling from her reply to his text asking her where she’d gone. It was like she didn’t even remember what they did, she just brushed him off with her standard, ‘fuck off’ followed by a series of angry-face and middle finger emojis. Now he felt lost and dizzy trying to understand how everything had just… gone… wrong.  
  
Driving, sometimes recklessly, usually helped him sort out his moods, but this morning he just felt empty as though running on autopilot. Was this what heartbreak did to a person? Just when he thought they’d worked things out, she was gone and it felt like she’d ripped a part of his heart out with her.  
  
Pantera’s ‘Walk’ came on next in his shuffled playlist. He laughed out loud. Of course, it was this song. Of…fucking… course it was ‘their’ song of all the songs that could have been chosen at random. He felt guilty about doing it, but he skipped to the next track, which happened to be a cover of Carry on Wayward Son by the Showdown. He could deal with that.  
  
Cranking up the volume, Ben continued to drive aimlessly through the early Saturday morning traffic. A text came in suddenly, briefly lowering the volume of the music. He glanced at the notification and saw that it was from Daisy of all people.  
  
“Huh.” He pulled into a left turn lane at the next red light and opened the message.  
  
DaisedNConfuzd: Ben, we’re all over at Kylo’s and Rey’s. Please meet us ASAP! It’s about Kira.  
  
Ben didn’t wait for the light to turn green before gunning the accelerator and breaking the rear tires loose into a highly reckless, highly illegal U-turn and blasted down the street toward his brother’s place. He arrived about fifteen minutes later and, as expected, he saw Matt and Daisy’s Prius parked haphazardly beside Kylo’s Infiniti.  
  
Ben skidded up the driveway, stopping just short of bashing in the rear of his brother’s SUV. He grabbed his phone, got out and raced up to the door. He gave it three heavy wraps before Rey greeted him.  
  
“Hey, thank God you’re here. We need to talk!”  
  
“What’s wrong? Where’s Kira?” Ben quickly followed Rey inside. After a sudden left, they were in the living room where the others waited, looking shaken up by something. His heart leaped into his throat and he immediately feared the worst.  
  
“What the Hell’s going on guys?” He said, bracing himself for the news.  
  
Strangely, they didn’t look devastated or heartbroken in any way, instead, they all shared a look that was simply… offputting. Rey looked at Matt and Daisy, then turned to Ben.  
  
“When was the last time you saw Kira?”  
  
“What? Uh, last night. She came by and we talked, maybe patched things up, and kinda, maybe spent the night together—,” he said rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably, “— then she fucking split on me! I texted her this morning and she blew me off like nothing happened last night.”  
  
This time it was Matt and Daisy that looked at each other. Ben threw up his hands. “Okay, seriously, what the hell is going on? Did something happen to her? Why’d you call me over here?  
  
Daisy looked at him with solemn concern and said, “You’re not going to like this, Ben, but the Scooby Gang has been violated by dark and terrible forces from beyond our world.”  
  
…  
  
……  
  
………..  
  
Ben laughed. He stopped laughing long enough to pinch the bridge of his nose, then proceeded to laugh some more.  
  
“What… the fuck… are you talking about?” He said with as much calmness as he could put into his voice. To his surprise, it was Kylo who replied.  
  
“It sounds absolutely crazy alright, but Daisy’s right. The only explanation that comes close to being a rational explanation for what happened this morning is that Demonic entities came into our homes and disguised themselves as ‘us’. For what purpose, I don’t know.”  
  
Rey turned to him with disbelief and flatly said, “Babe… Lucifer wanted to fuck me.”  
  
Kylo scoffed. “Jesus Christ, I was trying to be delicate about it, okay?”  
  
Daisy added, “Yeah, they wanted to tempt and seduce us into adulterous relations with them, probably so they could steal our souls or something!”  
  
Ben reeled back with amazement. “Wow, that’s just… yeah. Okay, I wasn’t expecting that one.”  
  
“It’s true, Ben!” Daisy retorted. “I walked in on Lilith trying to seduce Matt. She was sitting on his lap, his lap! But you better believe I fought her off! I told her that I’d cut a bitch and dammit, I cut that bitch.”  
  
Matt looked as though he wanted to be anywhere else but here but Ben burst out with a laugh he didn’t know he had in him.  
  
“Okay, ha, wow! Holy shit, do you hear yourselves right now?” He said skeptically.  
  
Matt got up with his phone in his hand. “Dude, trust me, I know how it sounds, okay? But I can prove it.” He scrolled through his phone for something before adding, “What time did Kira come over last night?”  
  
“Like, 8:30 or something. She spent the rest of the night after that. As I said, she left early in the morning before I got up.”  
  
“That couldn’t have happened because Kira was still at our place all night. Look,” Matt played a video on his phone and handed it to Ben.  
  
He glanced down to see Matt and Daisy fiddling with different angles and video effects watching as their faces changed from bunnies to unicorns, to creepy pinched faces and whatever else; he groaned in annoyance, but nothing else in the clip stood out to him until he saw her.  
  
Kira, clear as day, came into the kitchen in the background and the phone recognized enough of her face to slap an angel’s Halo and wings onto her as she grabbed a beer from the fridge. Cute. She promptly chided them for spending so much time playing with stupid face filters and went back to the living room. Then he looked at the time stamp. It said 9:12 PM, well after she’d come over to his place.  
  
Ben felt hollow inside, not quite believing what he was seeing, but when he looked up, Matt put his hand on his shoulder and looked him dead in the eyes.  
  
“Kira didn’t come over to your place last night. That was Lilith disguised as Kira; I know because she confessed it to me before we chased her off.”  
  
Not quite believing it, but realizing the explanation made a strange kind of sense considering how Kira had been acting, Ben felt his legs grow weak. He stumbled back a step before Matt tensed his grip on his shoulder, steadying him.  
  
“What the hell is happening right now?” Ben asked feeling drained. He looked from Matt to Daisy and then to Rey and Kylo and all of them seemed as shocked and confused as he did. This was no practical joke, something bad was going on and he had no idea what.  
  
Daisy said, “We think Kira might be in, uh, ‘danger’.” She screwed up her face like she always did when she tried to be as sensitive about a topic as she could.  
  
Ben gawked at her. “What does that mean?”  
  
Rey answered. “All we know is that Lucifer seems to have made a bet with Lilith as to who could sleep with each of us first. Apparently, you’re the only one Lilith got to and, well, Lucifer almost got to me.”  
  
“Almost?” Kylo commented.  
  
Rey smacked him on the arm. “That doesn’t count!”  
  
“Wait, what? Hold on for a damn minute.” Ben held up a hand. This was somehow even more shocking than the other revelation. “A bet? Like a fucking stupid High School dudebro bet? How the hell do you know all this?”  
  
“Well, because he told us,” she said hesitantly, “and because I may or may not have given Lucifer a blowjob thinking he was Kylo.”  
  
“Okay, fair enough,” Ben said trying to make sense of literally anything he’d just heard.  
  
Matt chimed in, “That leaves us all with a huge problem though. Kira left this morning and no one knows where she went.” That prompted the others to pull out their phones and check to see if she was active on any social media pages.  
  
“So she’s just… gone?” Ben said, not believing what he was hearing. “She just left and didn’t tell anybody anything?”  
  
Matt gave him a sheepish look. “No, nothing. I was still asleep when I heard the door open and close. She didn’t leave a note.”  
  
Ben remembered his morning text to her just then. He fished his phone out of his back pocket and was surprised to see an unread text from Kira. “Hold on guys, she sent me something.”  
  
Kir Beer: Fine, fukkit. I’m coming over to talk. This shit’s gettin’ old!  
  
Ben looked up in mild alarm. “Shit, she’s back at my place.”  
  
The others all shared concerned looks with one another. It was Daisy who spoke first.  
  
“Well, what are waiting for? Autobots, roll out!”  
  
They moved as one as everyone prepared to leave. Kylo tossed his keys to Rey, “I’m riding with Ben, you guys follow us.” When Ben looked at him, confused, he put his hand on his shoulder and added, “Come on, we need to get some things from the garage.  
  
Ben followed as Daisy, Matt and Rey all planned out seating arrangements and ridiculous plans to possibly call the police, only who would believe them? He didn’t pay much attention after that. In the garage, Kylo hit the button to open the main door. As sunlight flooded in, he went over to a metal cabinet by the wall and opened the dual doors. Inside were three aluminum softball bats, each one crimson red, and each with their respective names scribbled on it in Sharpie marker.  
  
“Holy shit, you still have those things?” Ben said, genuinely surprised.  
  
Kylo handed him his bat. “Yeah, keepsakes mostly, but I think they may come in handy if we run into trouble, and trust me, we will run into trouble with this guy.”  
  
Ben looked down at the hefty piece of aluminum in his grip, suddenly overwhelmed by memories, High School, crazy ex’s, good times and bad, and of course, Kira. He gripped the handle with renewed resolve as he looked Kylo in the eyes.  
  
“I don’t know who or what this fucker is, but if he touches my girl, I’m gonna fuck his life up.”  
  
Kylo fixed him with a serious glare. “You and me both. I owe him that because he thought it would be funny to eat out my fiance.”  
  
Ben’s brows rose an inch. “Okay, damn… I didn’t know it was like that, but I’m starting to understand where that anger is coming from, bro.”  
  
“Yeah.” Kylo agreed.  
  
Matt stepped into the garage a moment later and stopped short when he saw them. “Oh for fuck's sake, are you seriously arming up with bats to fight Lucifer, the Lord of Darkness?”  
  
“You’re goddamned right I am,” Kylo replied. He grabbed Matt’s bat from the locker and held it out to him. “You want in?”  
  
“Look, I’m just as pissed as you guys about this entire situation but I'm highly allergic to dying. We don’t know anything about what kind of powers they have. They could set us all on fire with a snap of their fingers or something!” Matt protested.  
  
Ben gripped his bat tighter, thinking about Kira, always Kira. He met Matt’s eyes and said cooley, “Then you can avenge us if we go down. I’m going to get my girl back.” He turned and power walked toward the Falcon.  
  
“Avenge you?” Matt followed up. “How the hell am I going to avenge you? What does that even mean?”  
  
Ben didn’t answer. He opened the door and slid onto the cracked leather seat as Kylo joined him from the passenger side. The big block V8 fired up with a growl like a beast suddenly awakened. He gave the others the briefest of glimpses as they rushed out of the house and into Kylo’s SUV as he peeled out of the driveway and burnt rubber down the road.  
  
The trip was a blur of sensations and emotional turmoil. Ben occasionally acknowledged Kylo’s concern for his own safety as he wove in and out of traffic on autopilot but Kira was the only thing on his mind. As he made the final turn down the street to his rented duplex, Kylo gave him a warning.  
  
“Look, I don’t know what we’re going to find, or what this guy is capable of but whatever it is, do not engage until I say so. Do you hear me?”  
  
Ben scoffed. “No fucking promises. Whatever magic tricks you think this guy can do, they won’t stop a bat to his skull.”  
  
“Christ, Ben I’m serious. Do NOT engage! We can’t risk him hurting her.”  
  
That stuck. Ben was plenty angry with Kira for a host of reasons, but he could never forgive himself if he let some punk with rubber horns and party smoke hurt her.  
  
“Fine, we’ll do it your way. You said this asshole looked like you? Like, Rey wasn’t able to tell you apart.”  
  
“He looked exactly like me, down to my moles.  I thought I was going insane but god dammit he was me, which means he might fool Kira by pretending to be you.”  
  
Ben laughed at that. “Good luck with that. She hates my guts right now.”  
  
“Maybe that’ll work to our advantage,” Kylo acknowledged.  
  
“Yeah… maybe,” he agreed but wished he hadn’t.  
  
They approached the duplex and Ben immediately recognized Kira’s car out front, an ’87 5.0 Mustang with more or less the original red paint still attached. He cursed himself for being so blind. All he had to do was wait for her text and he would have been here. There was nothing he could do about that now, though.  
  
He pulled into the driveway and threw the Falcon into park. He was already out of the car and moving toward the front door while Kylo rushed to his side, holding the bat out in front of him. He looked back to see the others just turning down the street.  
  
“Dude, chill. We have to be smart about this,” Kylo said as he tested the doorknob. It was locked. “You have your keys?”  
  
Ben fished them out of his pocket, “Yeah.”  
  
“Go in easy, quiet!”  
  
He opened the door and, heeding Kylo’s advice, carefully opened the front door. The familiar stink of stale cigarettes and weed greeted him home as he stepped into the living room but Kira was nowhere to be found. It was a small duplex and Kylo knew the inside of the place as well as anyone while he checked the bathroom and garage, but when Ben heard Kira cry out from the bedroom, he knew he was too late.  
  
“No.” He ran toward the sound of her voice as Kylo called out to him.  
  
“Do not engage, DO NOT ENGAGE!”  
  
Ben flung open the door and his eyes widened in shock at what he saw. Kira, naked and in the throes of orgasm had her legs wrapped around his muscled back as a freaky green vapor crackled around them. The mist seemed to react with each of Lucifer’s vigorous thrusts. Most shocking of all was how accurate his description had been; he had long black horns, pale skin and could have easily passed as any one of his brothers, but he certainly didn’t resemble Ben.  
  
Lucifer was kissing Kira’s neck in the way that she loved, the way that only he knew about, but when Ben’s eyes fell upon her illuminated face, all he could think about was how beautiful she looked. Maybe it was the green mist or some other trick of the light but Kira looked every inch a goddess. That was when the strangest sensation befell him.  
  
Despite all their fighting, snarky comments and insults alike, and despite all the anger he’d felt when she’d walked out of his life, Ben Solo found himself falling in love with her all over again… even as his heart shattered in his chest knowing that she had made her choice.  
  
And it wasn’t him.  
  
He shifted his gaze to Lucifer who was smiling at him now, and the rage that boiled up inside brought Ben back to reality. Kylo’s incessant command echoed at the back of his mind but he didn’t care as he gripped the bat in his hands.  
  
Ben charged.  
  
The Devil be damned.  
  
  



	4. Kira

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kira, having the time of her life finds herself being rudely interrupted by her sisters and the Solo brothers.

  
Kira’s had some fan-fucking-tastic orgasms before but never has one been so good that she’d actually hallucinated. Since it was Lucifer, the literal Prince of Darkness fucking her into oblivion, she gave him the benefit of the doubt, but at the moment she couldn’t begin to imagine why she was seeing Ben of all people in the room with them.  
  
One minute her body was quaking with pleasure and the next, there he was, with his shiny red High School softball bat rushing in slow motion toward them, and even more strangely, Kylo was charging into the room after him.  
  
“Wow,” she thought. This must be some really deep-seated psychological shit going on.  
  
The only thing that gave her pause, however, besides the rolling waves of pleasure currently shooting through her, was the fact that Lucifer seemed to notice them too. In fact, he even seemed to respond to them as if they were actually in the room.  
  
“You’re fucking DEAD!” Ben screamed as he prepared to swing his bat at Lucifer’s head.  
  
The Dark Lord, with a simple flick of his oh-so-talented fingers, calmly replied, “Uh-uh, that won’t be necessary, my friend. I’m not giving autographs at the moment!” Ben froze in midstep, leaning over at an angle where he should have fallen flat on his face, but he didn’t. As Kylo stopped in his tracks and looked at them both with alarm, Kira’s moment of ecstatic doubt solidified into a terrible realization.  
  
“Ben… Kylo? What… the absolute… FAKKKK???”  
  
“Kira, don’t worry, we’re here to rescue you,” Kylo said, keeping his distance.  
  
“Oh, that’s too adorable,” Lucifer said thrust after thrust.  
  
She looked at him. “Wait, what? This is real? Tell me this isn’t real, dude!”  
  
“I could lie to you, but that wouldn’t be prudent at the moment, I think.”  
  
Suddenly, as though someone opened the car window going down the highway, all the air went out of her as Daisy, Matt, and Rey all rushed into the duplex behind Kylo.  
  
“Oh, nooooo… no, no, nooooo,” Kira groaned, mortified.  
  
Daisy was the first to enter the bedroom behind Kylo, pulling her letter opener that looked like Frodo’s sword Sting, from her purse. “Stay back, foul demon! We’re here for Kira!” She shouted at Lucifer before turning to her, “Don’t worry, sis! I know it’s difficult but you’re under a spell! You have to resist, just follow the sound of my voice and come back to us. Please, come back to us Kira, you’re our only hope!”  
  
“Yeah… what she said,” Rey added, pulling a can of mace from her purse while Matt clutched… was that a lamp?  
  
Kira’s hands went to her face in shame and disbelief as Lucifer continued to thrust into her, undisturbed.  
  
“A family reunion, how quaint! Your timing is a bit, uh, problematic, but I have performed in front of guests before soooo,” he said with a wicked smirk.  
  
Kira glared at him. “Seriously? Could you… not? This isn’t a fucking peep show!”  
  
Lucifer regarded her with sympathy, “Oh, well of course. If that is your wish, my lady.” Wrapping his immense arm around her, he gently lowered her to the mattress before pulling out and standing at the foot of the bed with a broad smile.  
  
“I can’t fucking believe this, I can’t fucking believe—,” Kira repeated as she rolled over to the far edge and grabbed her clothes from the floor and began to dress.  
  
Lucifer spoke, “I appreciate your passion to protect Kira, but I assure you, that no harm would have come to her. This is all an unfortunate misunderstanding, as Rey and Kylo surely understand.”  
  
“Oh, don’t try that mediator crap with us, monster! You release whatever spell you have Kira under now,” Daisy demanded, “Oh and whatever it is you’ve done to Ben, too.”  
  
Kira didn’t look but she heard Ben growl something angry between his teeth, apparently still unable to move. She finished pulling on her ripped black jeans before facing them.  
  
“Jesus tits, guys! I’m not under any spell and Lucifer wasn’t going to hurt me!” She came around the bed, gently pushing her demonic naked lover out of the way. She stood in front of Ben who was still frozen in an impossible angle that would have been amusing if she weren’t completely humiliated at the moment.  
  
Looking back at Lucifer, Kira gestured at Ben, “Could we?”  
  
“Oh, right. My apologies,” Lucifer said with a snap of his fingers.  
  
An instant later, Ben stumbled into Kira’s arms as she helped him gain his balance. She definitely didn’t think about the multitude of conflicted feelings his presence brought with him, and she definitely didn’t think about how stupidly charming it was that he was literally about to hit Lucifer with a bat to protect her.  
  
“Are you okay?” She said flatly.  
  
“Fuck… I’m fucking fine, I just don’t… “ he struggled for words, clearly embarrassed by what had just happened, but Ben managed to compose himself enough to add, “He fucking won’t be when I’m done!”  
  
Ben pointed the bat at Lucifer which Kira quickly snatched out of his hand and tossed onto the bed. “Will you just stop being an idiot, already? He’s Lucifer… he has powers… he will kick your ass, I promise you.”  
  
“She does have a point,” Lucifer agreed, “Though I truly have no desire to engage in a noble game of fisticuffs with any of you, especially considering what a disaster this has turned out to be.  
  
Ben looked angry, scared, and unsure, but when he looked at her she had to avert her eyes because of how much he simply looked… hurt.  
  
“Why? What’s going on, Kira? What is this?”  
  
Despite her best efforts to keep her defenses up, Ben’s words felt like knives in her chest and it didn’t help matters any when Daisy piped up.  
  
“Kira? Did you… know that was Lucifer?”  
  
She looked at everyone and witnessed varying degrees of surprise and silent judgment which only pissed her off more.  
  
“Yes, I did. I knew who it was.”  
  
Rey interjected, “But you did it… anyway?” The accusatory edge to her sister’s voice was enough to put her over the edge.  
  
“Yeah, as a matter of fact… I did Rey. I fucked Lucifer and I was having a fantastic time of it until you all busted in here Mission Impossible style. Do I really need to explain why? I mean, fucking look at him! He’s like Adam Driver with horns for fuck’s sake.” Kira gestured to Lucifer’s naked sweat damped form. The Solos averted their eyes but Rey and Daisy both were red-faced and staring. That was all the validation she needed.  
  
Matt quietly interjected, “Maybe horny Adam Driver could put on some pants or something?”  
  
Kira looked behind her to see him flexing his cock in her general direction. She groaned. “Seriously? Put that thing away before you get us all killed..”  
  
“Anything for you, my lovely, Kira.” He blew her a kiss before waving his hands and manifesting a pair of black leather pants and a velvety black and red coat that covered his shoulders but left his shimmering chest bared. She could live with that she realized before turning back to her sisters and the Solo brothers.  
  
“Better? Can we take this out into the living room maybe? You know, someplace that doesn’t smell like fuck and shitty pot?”  
  
Ben gave her an angry look. “It was all I could afford, alright?”  
  
Kira sighed. “Whatever.”  
  
The others shared a look and began to move toward the living room, but not before Daisy got off a timid spray of the travel sized Febreeze she pulled out of her purse. Kira narrowed her eyes, but let it go as she followed them into the other room. She waited with growing annoyance for Ben’s inevitable blowout, but he surprised her yet again.  
  
He looked up at her with those sad puppy eyes that plucked at her heart like a master musician playing his instrument. “What happened, Kira?”  
  
Perhaps she was the only who knew that his question had more to it than simply this, but she tried to maintain her facade of strength anyway. “What happened is that I came over here to talk to you, thinking that maybe you were ready to grow up already and we could work out some things. Imagine my surprise when I get here and you’re nowhere to be found.”  
  
Just like every other time I’ve needed you, she thought but didn’t say. She couldn’t bring herself to look at Ben’s wounded expression, so she turned to Lucifer. “Then suddenly, you were here! Like magic, poof, you walk in the front door just as I was about to leave. Naturally, I ask ‘where the fuck ‘ya been boi’ and then you open your dumb mouth and fucking Mr. Darcy from Pride & Prejudice comes out.”  
  
“To be fair,” Lucifer stated, “It has been a while since I’ve interacted directly with humans. Time passes so quickly for you mortals, I can never keep up with the lingo. Do kids even say ‘groovy’ anymore?”  
  
“Not unironically,” Kira replied.  
  
Daisy interjected, “It’s more made up words like ‘on fleek’ and ‘I’ll yeet you out a window’ and stuff like that.”  
  
“Yeet? Is that some sort of fruit?” Lucifer inquired.  
  
Kylo interrupted before anyone could answer that question. “None of that matters, alright? Kira, I don’t know how much he told you, but I can say this. That piece of shit right there, assaulted your sister just like he assaulted you!”  
  
Kira cocked an eyebrow in Rey’s direction. “Is that… so?”  
  
Her face turned cherry red. “He looked like Kylo. We didn’t quite get as, uh, far as you. That’s all you need to know.”  
  
Kira smirked, then turned to Daisy. “Anything you wish to add, sis?”  
  
Daisy flushed with color. “What? You mean… how DARE… I wouldn’t, I mean, not that I know of.” She looked around in a panic before asking Lucifer, “Were you really trying to sleep with all of us? You think I’m… hot?”  
  
Lucifer’s small fangs flashed behind his smile when Kira shot a finger at him. “Don’t you dare answer that!”  
  
It was Matt who stepped in front of his wife protectively. “Yes, that was part of a ‘bet’ he made with the other one.”  
  
Kira’s ears perked up at that. “The ‘other’ one? What are you talking about?”  
  
“That would be me, my dear,” said a sultry female voice emerging from the hallway in a puff of flame and ash. She was deeply tanned, tattooed, gorgeous and had small but menacing horns and like Lucifer, spoke with that snobbish elitism that Kira had come to understand in the brief time she’d learned about demons.  
  
“I’m Lilith. It’s a pleasure to meet you all.” She looked the group over then Ben specifically before adding, “Again.”  
  
“Ah, my Queen, my falling star, I was wondering when you were going to show. It would seem this endeavor has ended poorly,” Lucifer said as he took Lilith’s hand and brought it to his lips.  
  
“Wait… a God… damned… minute,” Kira said sternly. She glared at Lucifer before adding, “You’re… married?”  
  
Lucifer, to his credit, appeared to shrink away from her growing anger. “Well, yes of course. I’m the ruler of Hell, I must have a Queen.”  
  
Kira stared daggers at him as she held her hand out to Kylo.  
  
“Bat.”  
  
She felt the warm metal slide into her grip as she slung it up over her shoulder and advanced on them.  
  
“My dear, sweet Kira we, uh, don’t need to do anything hasty,” Lucifer pleaded.  
  
She got two more steps before Lilith stepped in front of him and conjured a flaming blue rapier in her right hand. She didn’t hold it up to anyone, but the threat was obvious.  
  
“You can stop right there. Violence will not end well for you, but if it's any consolation, I do concede that you have every right to be angry. We both had a hand in this little charade.”  
  
Kira stopped and regarded them for a long moment before she lowered the bat and leaned on it for support. “Oh, this should be fun. Please, do enlighten us with tales of your misdeeds.” She felt, rather than saw, the others gather behind her, ready to hear the story as well.  
  
Lilith looked them over, then extinguished her flaming sword. She glanced briefly at Lucifer who shrugged in response.  
  
“Very well. It was only meant to be a fun little game. I made a bet that I could sleep with the three Solo boys before my delightful husband could sleep with all of you. It was simple, we would present ourselves as your greatest desire, you would be enamored with us, we’d do the deed and be on with our lives without anyone having been the wiser.”  
  
“A bet? You mean like, some High School dudebro bet?” Kira felt more let down than angry than anything.  
  
Ben added, “Yeah, that’s what I said! It’s fucked up, right?”  
  
She turned slightly but didn’t look at him just yet. Instead, Lilith spoke again.  
  
“As it turns out, I may have underestimated the strength of human attachments, however. Everything went so well with Ben there, I thought the others would be a piece of cake.”  
  
Now, Kira looked at Ben, understanding dawning inside of her. This time he was the one who couldn’t meet her eyes but he spoke anyway.  
  
“That’s why I texted you this morning. I thought… well, I thought we’d patched things up,” he said forlornly.  
  
Kira turned back to Lilith.  
  
“So what went wrong?”  
  
The demoness smiled, then gestured to Matt. “That one happened.” All eyes went to the bleach blond Solo brother who shrank back behind Daisy.  
  
“I completely misread him. After Daisy left to acquire the, uh, ‘Criz-bee Creams’ is that it? I presented myself as what I thought was his greatest desire.” Lilith turned back to Kira.  
  
“You.” With a wave of her hand, she transformed into… her and smiled mischievously before spinning once as the spell faded.  
  
It felt like she’d been punched in the stomach, but Kira’s eyes went immediately to Matt’s and she knew by the color rapidly draining from his face that he’d been hit ten times harder.  
  
Lilith continued. “Unlike us, humans have a strange tendency to make pretend and lie to themselves about their own desires, so even though they may have strong physical attractions to others who aren’t their bonded mate, they can’t bring themselves to admit their feelings.”  
  
“Wait,” Daisy said with a waver in her voice, “What is she saying, Matt? You were thinking about… Kira?”  
  
Kira could already see the first stages of Matt’s anxiety attack creeping up on him and she dreaded what was coming.  
  
Lilith casually waved her hand, “Oh, there’s no need to be mad at him, my dear. Humans have a peculiar attraction to their first-time lovers. In fact, that’s why I misread his desires so incorrectly.”  
  
“Oh God,” Matt said, visibly shaking.  
  
“Dude, Kira? You never said anything before,” Ben commented.  
  
Matt tried to reply, “I didn’t want this to… it was one… goddammit.” He stormed away from the group, eager to escape and find someplace private to have his breakdown.  He bolted for the front door.  
  
“Matt, where are you going?” Daisy called after him in a panic. “Please come back! Maaaatt!” He’d already opened and slammed the door shut before she chased him outside.  
  
The silence inside of Ben’s duplex was crushing and Kira’s anger flared up.  
  
“You… had no… fucking… right… to say that in front of literally everybody!”  
  
Lilith shared a look with Lucifer. “I don’t think… I understand. I was simply being truthful so that you could have the most informed scenario of why things went so wrong. The entire point I was trying to make was that despite his physical desires for you, Matt’s love for Daisy overpowered my influence, which is how he resisted me. I’d never had a mortal do that before.”  
  
Lucifer stepped closer to her. “Ah, yes my dear this is what I tried to convey to you. Mortals can be complex but delicate creatures. Their emotional attachments are not like ours.  
  
Kira gripped the bat tighter, furious at the entire situation, then slowly let it slip from her fingers in resignation. “Look, I don’t know how demons do things Downtown, but people up here have secrets, we have insecurities and shame and regrets. What we had was a secret that we’d agreed to keep between us and no one else.”  
  
She felt the others looking at her, so she turned and blurted out, “Yes, that’s right, I fucked Matt too, and I happened to take his virginity okay? It was High School, we were dumb, horny teenagers and the rest of us didn’t know each other yet. It wasn’t all that big of a deal for me but it was for him. I didn’t want to hurt him, okay? I knew he was emotional and I didn’t want him to get attached to me so I cut it off between us. We shook hands and vowed to never speak of it again because it wasn’t anybody’s business!”  
  
Rey approached and slowly put her hand on her shoulder. “Kira, we’re not judging you… or Matt.”  
  
“She’s right.  It was just a surprise, that's all,” Kylo added.  
  
Ben said nothing, but he didn’t look angry or jealous either.  She supposed that was a good sign.  
  
“Look, whatever happened between you two is in the past. I mean, so what? You took Matt’s virginity, big whoop, right?” Rey added.  
  
Kira forced a smile as she replied, “Tell that to him, okay? I know you guys think I’m a bitch, but I do actually care about people, alright? I didn’t want his first time to be… something it wasn’t.” She gave Rey a knowing look and when her sister responded with the slightest nod, Kira knew she understood.  
  
She turned back to Lilith and Lucifer. “Do you at least kind of understand why you can’t just go around tricking people into sleeping with you? Do you get the idea that we have varying complex emotions and personal secrets that we’d rather not share with each other? What you thought was ‘harmless’ fun could destroy lives and ruin relationships and maybe that makes us mere mortals ‘weak bitches’ by your standards but those relationships are all we got.”  
  
Lilith regarded her somberly for a long moment before saying, “I think I can see how that might cause problems. Perhaps it would be best… if we returned home.” She turned to Lucifer who rolled his eyes in annoyance.  
  
“Oh alright, I suppose the emotional appeal will have to do.” He stepped forward and took Kira’s hand. “My dear, I do apologize for any emotional turmoil we may have caused.” When he brought her hand to his lips, she didn’t stop him as he continued, “Our time together was an absolute delight. I shall treasure the memory.”  
  
“Please,” Ben scoffed angrily.  
  
This time it was Kira who rolled her eyes. She quickly snatched her hand away. “I’m sure you will, dearest Lucy.”  
  
Lucifer smiled warmly and turned to Rey. Though he reached for her hand as well, Kylo put himself between them, forcing him to withdraw. “Yes, of course. Rey, my dear, our time together was only too tragically brief, but I can assure you that it would have been the time of your life.”  
  
Color bloomed in Rey’s freckled cheeks but she tried to remain defiant. “I wouldn’t go that far… but I mean, Kylo and I do alright without any help, soooo…”  
  
“Ah, yes, indeed.” Lucifer wagged her finger at her then looked at Kylo, “Just a fair warning, Kylo my friend… this one’s a spanker.”  
  
Now they both turned red. Kira gave her sister the sideye. “I knew it.” Her sister didn’t meet her gaze.  
  
“Please give our sincerest apologies to Daisy and Matthew as well,” Lilith added as she took Lucifer’s hand. She gave Kira and Ben a thoughtful look just then. “I know you two have your issues to work out, but from what Ben confessed to me last night, he is madly in love with you, Kira. I would not be so quick to dismiss him if I were you.”  
  
Kira felt heat bloom in her own cheeks now. She glanced at Ben from the corner of her eyes and saw him doing the same for her. She had no idea what Lilith was talking about or what Ben had said, but she imagined that she would find out soon enough. For now, however, she crossed her arms in defiance, not giving away any further emotional leverage.  
  
“Have a lovely trip back to Hell,” she added too sweetly.  
  
Lucifer gestured with pompous grandiosity, “We should do this again sometime, it was a blast!”  
  
“How about no?” Kylo said with his hands on Rey’s shoulders.  
  
“If you come back I will bash your face in,” Ben added.  
  
“Yeah, maybe don’t ever do this again, like ever, ever!” Kira agreed.  
  
Lilith gave Lucifer a bemused look. “Kira is probably right, dear.”  
  
None of this fazed Lucifer who’s smile only widened. “Your concerns are noted, my friends. Until next time.”  
  
They waved together as they both said, “Toodles.” They snapped their fingers and disappeared into a puff of flame.  
  
A heavy and awkward silence hung in the air around their departure, interrupted only when Kira asked, “Did they really just say… toodles?”  
  
“Yeeeeah,” Rey groaned.  
  
Kira stared absently at the spot where they’d just been. “Alright. That was a thing that happened.”  
  
“I need a fucking drink,” Kylo announced.  
  
“Same,” Rey agreed.  
  
“Beer’s in the fridge, the good shit’s on the top shelf,” Ben offered distantly.  
  
Rey and Kylo both went into the kitchen and prepared a couple of stiff drinks. Kira turned toward Ben and said, “We need to talk.” Without waiting for a reply, She spun on her heel and went back to the bedroom. He followed and once they were inside again, she closed the door behind them and sat on the edge of the bed.  
  
Kira stared down at her fingers for a long moment as she tried to work up the courage to say what needed to be said. Having a moment to finally take in everything that’s happened in the past few hours, her emotions threatened to wash over her. The smell of sex and stale weed was heavy in the air, her panties were wet and her shirt clung to her sweat and being unable to wipe herself off on such short notice, there was nothing arousing about any of it.  
  
She just felt… dirty. Ben slid up beside her and she didn’t stop him. They stayed that way for a long time, not speaking, not even looking at each other. Finally, gaining courage, she tentatively reached over and set her trembling hand into his upturned palm. He clasped his fingers around hers without further prompting and she knew now was the right time to do this.  
  
“We’re fucked up, Ben. You realize that, right?” She said it matter of factly.  
  
“Yeah, I know,” he replied in kind.  
  
“That’s… good. You know how they say, the first step toward dealing with problems is to acknowledge them. We’re on the right track, yaaay.”  
  
Ben gently squeezed her hand. “How much longer until we slam head first into the wall?” He said it with a half-hearted attempt at his usual Solo snark. He failed, but Kira appreciated the attempt nonetheless.  
  
“How about we discuss the fact that you were literally about to attack Lucifer with a bat because of me. I mean, there’s dumb ideas and then there are spectacularly dumb ideas!” She smiled at him and was pleased to see she’d elicited a small chuckle as well.  
  
“I don’t really know what to say about that. When I saw you two, I… I just couldn’t process anything. It was like every emotion hit me at once and after everything that happened last night, I didn’t want to believe that it was all a trick. I just lost it.”  
  
“When I got your text this morning, I thought you were crazy or blitzed out of your mind again. I felt like a bitch for how I replied, so that’s why I came over, in the hopes that you’d be willing to talk. What happened last night, with Lilith?”  
  
“You know what the worst part is?” Ben asked. “I can’t even remember everything I’d said to you… her. It felt like I ripped myself open and poured my heart out in the hopes that you would forgive me or at least understand me, and then… you did… and everything was so perfect until it wasn’t. It was all a lie. Now I’m here talking to you, not knowing if I’m even worth your forgiveness.  
  
Kira’s eyes stung with fresh tears, upset by how completely broken he sounded. Something definitely had happened, but she knew it wasn’t just sex. He had changed somehow, possibly for the better, possibly not. She gripped Ben’s hand harder and turned to fully face him.  
  
“Ben I’m only going to say this once. It’s not about what you ‘deserve’ or whether or not you’re ‘worthy’. It’s about how willing you are to hear me out and to be better than you were yesterday. I didn’t walk away simply because of a fight. Believe it or not, sometimes I like the fights because they remind me that you care, but I’ve got my own shit too and I try to check myself when I can.”  
  
Ben had a distant, searching look in his eyes. Kira wiped a tear away as she continued.  
  
“I walked away because I know that you’re a better person than you give yourself credit for. I want you to be better, to be honest with yourself, but I can’t make you. You are the only person in the world who knows who I truly am. You’re the only one outside my sisters, I’m comfortable enough with to let my guard down and spill my heart out. That’s why when you revert back into petty ‘high-school asshole’ mode it hurts me because I know it’s just an act and there’s no reason to be that way around me.”  
  
He averted his eyes with shame.  
  
“I don’t know what your issue is or how to help you because you won’t let me in! I can’t say if it’s some toxic masculinity defense mechanism bullshit, or if you need meds, but I can’t be open and honest with you if you’re not the same with yourself. All I’ve done is give and give, and give to you but if you’re not going to give back a little, I’m just wasting my time. Every time I’ve had enough and walk away from you it’s like I’m ripping another part of myself off and I can’t keep doing this, Ben!”  
  
He tried but failed to hide his own tears from her but managed to say, “I felt so many things when I saw you with him. Jealousy, rage, despair, disbelief, but what hit me the hardest was seeing you. You were happy, and it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever witnessed and I hated it because I knew in that instant that I could never make you that happy even though there’s nothing in the world I want more than that.”  
  
“Oh my God, Ben,” Kira chuckled as she put her free hand to his cheek. She traced his scar with her thumb before adding, “It’s called an orgasm, girls get them sometimes when they’re having sex. I mean, we weren’t ‘together’ and you weren’t here and, hey, it was Lucifer! Seriously, if Lilith came to you in her true form would you have skipped out on a chance to bang a supernatural being?”  
  
He looked genuinely thoughtful for a moment before she added, “Actually, don’t answer that. Look, what I’m saying is this.” Ben gazed longingly up at her and the words that came out of her next felt like knives to her heart.  
  
“We have to choose how we proceed with this relationship, Ben. Either we go all in and work on our problems together and make a genuine effort to be better… or we go our own ways.”  
  
Ben, despite his obvious effort, couldn’t hold back his tears any longer. The anguish in his expression drove the daggers deeper into her heart because she knew how it hurt him to show such emotion in front of her. She put both hands around his, and he clasped his on top of those.  
  
“I’m so sorry, Kira. I never wanted to push you away like this. I was terrified that if we went too far, I’d just fuck it up even worse and that I would lose you forever. Being a dick and keeping some distance at least I knew how to work things out. At least we would still be there for each other, but I didn’t think about how it affected you and for that, I can’t apologize enough. You deserve so much better than me and honestly, now I believe that Matt would have been better for you had you chosen to stay with him.  
  
“Please don’t do this to yourself, Ben. Don’t devalue yourself by comparing yourself to your brothers. Matt is a great guy and you’re all amazing in your own ways but I chose you! I connected with you and I refuse to simply throw away all that we had, that’s why I’m trying to save it but you have to be willing to save yourself. Please, just be honest. I’ll still be your friend no matter what, but we have to make a choice because we can't keep doing what we're doing and make it out with our relationship intact.”  
  
Kira was on the edge of complete breakdown when Ben pulled her hand to his scarred cheek. She felt him trembling with pain while tears ran down his face, then he turned his head slightly and planted his lips to her palm. He looked at her with sudden resolve and her breath caught in her chest knowing that he had made a decision.  
  
He was Ben Solo, after all, so it came as no real surprise when he gave her the most ‘Ben Solo’ reply possible.  
  
“Marry me.”


	5. Matt & Kira

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After having his most embarrassing secret exposed, Matt and Kira attempt to reconcile their past while looking forward to their future, but Lilith stops by one final time.

  
Matt had finally gotten his breathing under control and his heartbeat returned to normal. Despite the fact that literal demons had injected themselves into their lives, he knew what true magic was and it was Daisy sitting beside him holding his hand as her presence alone calmed the storm within him. He loved her even more for that. The fall air was cool but not cold, so the front porch was perfect for him to calm himself and reflect.  
  
“It’ll be alright, Matt. I’m not mad at you,” she said reassuringly. He squeezed her hand gently as he turned.  
  
Daisy pushed her glasses back up her nose and met his weary look with a hopeful smile. “Look, everyone has fantasies, we’re only human, you know? Okay, it's a bit of a shock knowing that you and Kira, well… you know, but it’s not crazy to think that you still have thoughts about her.  People get imprinted upon all the time and she was special because she was your first. There's no shame in having urges, Matt.  What matters is that you don't act on them like some dudebro!”  
  
Matt’s expression softened as he met her hazel eyes. “I know what you're trying to say, but I can't help but feel like a misogynist piece of shit when I think about her for even a moment when I said my vows to you.  I chose you because I love you more than anything.  I shouldn't be thinking about someone else, least of all your sister.”  
  
"Matt, you can't be focused on the same person for 110% of the day.  It's not possible.  What happens in here--," she booped him on the forehead, "-- is yours alone.  Even if you're still attracted to Kira, I know that you won't act on it because I know you!  You've been there for me so many times before and now I'm here for you.  We'll get through this together, I promise."  
  
"Preferably with fewer Demons I'd hope," he added forlornly.  
  
Daisy scoffed, “God, this entire ordeal was like some trashy fanfic on Ao3 or something, right? But it’s over now. You lost your virginity to Kira, so what?  Go on with your life!”  
  
“I’m just… sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner. It never really became an issue until after we started dating but I didn’t want to risk ruining anything between us, you know? I didn’t want you thinking of me like Kira’s leftovers or something.”  
  
“Ohhh Matt, don’t say things like that. Having sex with people doesn’t devalue you as a human being. You’re not a car; you don’t get docked ‘fuck points’ for everyone you banged in high school. I mean, you had sex with my sister, like wow, who's the real slut now!” She giggle-snorted in that way he loved.  
  
Matt chuckled. “Well, you know me, the ladies man! Don’t tell Kylo that, though.”  
  
They shared a comforting laugh. After a moment Daisy grew somber again and whispered, “I just wish —,” she hesitated before saying, “— I just wish I didn’t make you feel like I would be ashamed of you for who you slept with before we even knew each other.”  
  
“Daisy, no! I never felt that way. It was all me and my stupid anxiety brain. You know how I get, I hyper-fixate on things and catastrophize everything. I was ashamed of myself, but I know now that I shouldn’t have been.” He let the silence grow a moment longer before adding, “Though, the way you acted when you saw Lilith kind of, you know.”  
  
“Okay, first of all—,” Daisy said darkly, “— Number one, she’s a Demon!” She held up a finger to emphasize each point. “Two, she’s an adulterous bitch, and three, if she touches you again I promise I will cut her!”  
  
Matt regarded his fiery bean in a new light for a moment before nodding in agreement. “Right, I’m sure you will. You've got my back, cool.”  
  
Daisy smiled again and put her hand on his heart. “You don’t need to be afraid to tell me anything, blondie. I choose you, Pikachu! Always and forever.”  
  
The warmth of her hand seemed to spread throughout his chest as he realized how much he truly loved her. Matt leaned in for a kiss which she eagerly reciprocated despite their glasses clinking together and getting knocked out of alignment.  
  
The front door opened and Kira stepped out.  
  
“Well, I guess things are going alright out here then,” she said with a smirk.  
  
Matt and Daisy separated quickly but had a laugh about it. Daisy looked up at her first, “We’ll be alright. What about… them?”  
  
“Oh, they’re gone,” Kira said matter-of-factly. “I don’t suspect we’ll see our ‘guests’ again anytime soon, but I wanted to let you know that the rest of the Scoobies are ordering a pizza right now if you want in on it.”  
  
“Oooh, absolutely!” Daisy got to her feet with a bounce in her step.  
  
“I was wondering,” Kira gestured to Matt, “If we could have a moment first.”.  
  
Daisy briefly looked between them but quickly replied, “Oh, of course! I’m sure you have some things to talk about.” She moved toward the door but shot finger guns at Matt.  
  
“Mushrooms?”  
  
Matt fired finger guns back at her. “Mushrooms!”  
  
Daisy giggled and went inside, leaving the two of them alone. The smell of fruity shampoo wafted out from her wet hair, though Matt didn't begrudge her taking a quick shower. She sat beside him, leaning against the house as she flicked open her Zippo. Lighting a cigarette and giving it a long drag, she blew the smoke away and looked off into the distance.  
  
After an appropriately long moment of reflection, she spoke. “You know who my ‘first’ was?”  
  
Matt looked at her with curiosity.  
  
“Armitage Hux,” Kira said with a sneer.  
  
He reeled slightly. “Wow, that Dick Weazel?”  
  
“The one and very same,” she agreed. Taking another hit of the cigarette, she went on to say, “He was charming enough at first. You could say he wooed the pants off me, quite literally, and because I was young and stupid, I didn’t see him for what he was until I tried to get in touch with him afterward. I got ‘attached’ and thought he was simply too busy with all his school activities and clubs, but he ignored my texts, actively avoided me in the halls, and before I knew it I started getting all kinds of anonymous hate mail in my inbox, calling me a ‘slut’ and a ‘whore’. Others outright offered money for a quick fuck and others asked if I could do their friends like some fucking BOGO sale."  
  
Matt listened with growing anger, but he said nothing. Kira went on. “I suspected after a while that it was him, that he was telling his buddies to send this shit to me, but it wasn’t until I confronted him in front of God and everybody when he declared how he’d never ‘sleep with a poor slut’ like me and that I needed to stop harassing him because I was hurting his academic future. He walked away, laughing with his friends. I cried myself to sleep for a month.”  
  
Matt found the courage to speak then.  “I’m… sorry that happened to you. That’s horrible.”  
  
“Yeah, and you know what was funny about the whole thing, considering my reputation after that? It was Daisy who went up to him after she’d heard about it. She had this, Sailor Moon ring or something with this jewel in it; she turned it inside out on her finger… and she slapped the shit out of ol’ Armie. She cut his cheek wide open, made him bleed, because of what he did to me.”  
  
Matt was so taken aback by that he couldn’t even follow up with a question, so he just listened as she went on.  
  
Kira chuckled.  “I thought for sure she'd get suspended for that, at worst arrested because that gel haired piece of shit was the type to call on daddy's friends, you know?  But nothing happened.  The weeks went by and she didn't even get detention, because he couldn't bring himself to admit that a nerdy little girl like Daisy had hurt him."  
  
She scoffed, then took another drag.  "That fucking coward made up some bullshit about how he hurt himself in shop class or something and anyone who disagreed with him got the shit kicked out of them after school.  I learned from that. I learned a lot.  
  
What had been used to shame me became my armor. They saw me as a hardass bitch and a slut, so I became one."  
  
Kira reflected for a moment then added, "Okay not the 'slut' part so much, that came out wrong.  For the record though, I never banged the football team... maybe I blew Mitaka behind the bleachers but that's it, I promise.  Still, I had to do what I had to do to not let it hurt me anymore so I embraced it.  Still, Matt, I want you to know, I never wanted to hurt you, just to prevent you from doing something stupid like falling in love with me.”  
  
“I understand that, and I never held that against you. I mean, it did hurt for a little but I got over it… obviously,” he nodded toward the door.  
  
“To be totally honest, you were never just a ‘cheap fuck’. I genuinely enjoyed what we had and yes, there was a moment when I thought, ‘maybe this could be something more’… but then I slapped myself because rolling dice and playing with custom painted barbarian action figures was for fucking dorks!”  
  
A hearty laugh escaped from his lips before Matt could reply, prompting Kira to laugh with him.  Once he was able to catch his breath, he found his words, “Well, I think we can both agree that we dodged that bullet, didn’t we?”  
  
“Yeah, we did.”  
  
They sat there chuckling for a long moment, enjoying the catharsis of the moment. Kira smoked her cigarette and finally said, “So are we good, Solo?”  
  
Matt sighed. “Yeah, we’re good.” He held his fist out for her to bump. After another few moments of silent reflection, Matt asked, “So, how 'bout you and Ben?”  
  
Kira took a longer than usual drag on her cigarette before answering, “Ohhh Ben. Well, we’ve got our issues, that’s no secret, but I think this time it might work out.”  
  
“Oh?”  
  
Kira smiled thoughtfully. “He asked me to marry him.”  
  
“Ohhh,” Matt replied with understanding. “What’s this, the third or fourth time now?”  
  
Kira held up four fingers without saying a word.  
  
“Ah, okay, so what’s the verdict? The suspense is killing me here!”  
  
Kira’s smiled brightened in a way he hadn’t seen for a long time. “Ben’s an ass, but I know deep down he’s got what it takes to be a truly good person.  I did the stupid thing and said yes.”  She rolled her eyes at him.  
  
Matt nodded approvingly. “Alright, congrats.”  
  
“Thanks,” she said with obvious sarcasm.  
  
“I wonder how Rey and Kylo are handling this whole ‘demon’ thing,” Matt asked absently.  
  
“Pffft, they’re fine. Goody-two shoes ass yuppies, if you ask me. Though I’d be more concerned about Kylo.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“According to Lucifer, Rey's the spanker.”  
  
Matt barked a laugh. “Ha, I knew it.”  
  
“Right? I always suspected she had some kinks up her sleeve. God, I can’t believe it was a pair of literal demons who did this to us. I mean, how do normal people handle this? Should we be terrified or something? Full of existential dread or bowing down before the ‘Old Gods’?”  
  
Matt shook his head with slow, deliberate movements. Though before he could offer an answer another voice spoke first.  
  
“Just be honest with yourselves, I would imagine. How much worse would it have been had another human gotten involved in your lives?”  
  
Lilith came from around the side of the duplex, still dangerously beautiful but wearing simple homespun fabrics that would have looked like any regular pair of clothes to a passerby. She stood before them, her eyes still glowing with power but her expression introspective.  
  
“Hey there… I thought you’d be getting back on the Highway to Hell by now?” Kira stated with mild restraint.  
  
Lilith smirked. “Travel between worlds is a bit less of a hassle for our kind. I am here alone this time, though. I wanted to… apologize in person.” She regarded him and Kira equally.  
  
Matt was curious, but still cautious.  
  
“You know,” Lilith went on, “We are not too dissimilar from one another. For one, Kira, I know only too well what it’s like to harden myself to survive. I was born a slave and fought to become a Queen.”  
  
She shifted her gaze to Matt, “But, like you, I dreamt of worlds outside my prison, imagining what creatures and strange powers must exist out there. I would tell myself stories for comfort and to make the days pass sooner.”  
  
She looked far away now, lost in some distant memory as she spoke. “I'd endured daily abuses and was used in every way a slave can be used until one day I'd simply had enough.  I and my sisters revolted against our master and his henchmen. We castrated them, crucified them, then left them to die before fleeing into the wasteland, not once looking back.”  
  
She fixed Kira with a knowing stare, “Your anger with our actions today was fully justified, I know that now, but please understand that where I come from, our kind does not have the luxury of lying to oneself. We either accept ourselves for who we are, flaws, desires and all… or we suffer and die. I was born with nothing and I forged my crown from the bones of those who wronged me.”  
  
“Fuckin' ‘A’,” Kira said with a smirk.  
  
Lilith shared a small, sad smile. “I haven't had many dealings with humans and I know that I have a lot to learn, but I think I’m beginning to understand."  
  
She regarded them both with a knowing smirk.  
  
"You are weaklings, who simply don’t have the fortitude to endure true honesty with yourself.”  
  
A long, heavy pause bloomed between them as Kira and Matt gave each other a look. Kira replied first, “That’s not… quite, how I would interpret that… but I’m glad you’re starting somewhere.  That's a good observation, probably wrong, but it's something.”  
  
Lilith’s eyes widened with alarm. “Oh, I didn’t mean to insult you, I meant only to say that because of your frailty and short lives, it is in your nature to wrap yourselves in comforting lies to maximize your enjoyment before you perish."  
  
“Yeah that’s not really what’s happening either,” Matt observed.  
  
“Perhaps I misspoke,” Lilith looked retrospective for a brief moment. “Your bodies may be frail and your lives brief, but I understand why your interpersonal relationships mean so much to you. Our kind can live for millennia if not longer, some have called us immortal, but with such long lifespans relations rise and crash like waves on the Blood Sea. Every new partner is just another experience to behold and sex is such a base desire it’s hardly regarded as anything other than a physical release. When Lucifer and I played this game with you all, we didn't take into account your personal stakes in your relations with one another, hence the absolute disaster that ensued.”  
  
“Oh, well,” Matt began to say.  
  
“Okay, that makes sense,” Kira agreed.  
  
“So, like if your world has slaves, do you live in some kind of caste system?  I mean we hear stories about Hell, obviously but no one really knows what it's like.” Matt asked.  
  
"Actually," Lilith began to say when Matt dropped another question on her.  
  
“I mean, are you considered a Minor House because you rose from slavery?  Are their Major Houses who sneer at you and curse your name? Wait, but you're married to Lucifer, so that would mean that you outrank them right?  Are you actually 'The' Queen of Hell?”  
  
Kira put a hand on his arm, distracting him from his line of inquiry. “Pump the brakes, dork! I’m sure her ‘Worshipfulness’ has a lot to do and would like to get back home.”  
  
“Oh, sorry, I just get excited about… stuff,” Matt admitted, abashed.  
  
Lilith smiled. “I’ve noticed, and yes, I should get back. This entire unfortunate ordeal has left my poor husband in a state of, uh... unrequited satisfaction.”  
  
Kira raised her brow. “Blue balls, you mean I left him with blue balls.”  
  
Lilith gave her a confused look. “Is that another strange human saying? Like yeet on fleek?”  
  
“You could say that it just means he didn’t get off, he didn’t cum, or blow his load whatever, and honestly, he fucking deserves it. You don’t owe him any satisfaction, girl. Let him suffer a little.”  
  
Matt gaped at her, shocked that she’d be so bold as to tell Lilith what she couldn’t do with her own husband, the literal Prince of Darkness, but to his surprise, she didn’t seem all that offended. In fact, she laughed.  
  
“Perhaps not, dear, but I do enjoy pleasuring my husband and he is soooo very good at reciprocating that pleasure.” She winked.  
  
Kira nodded, thoughtfully. “Yes, he is. Yesss heeee isssss.” She puffed the last of her cigarette and ashed it out on the ground.  
  
“Uh, well, for what it’s worth, your, uh, Highness,” Matt stated, “I’m not mad at you for what you did. I mean, I was, but you apologized, so I accept your apology. Daisy might be different though. I wouldn’t recommend coming around for a while.”  
  
“That’s quite alright, Matthew. I don’t suspect we’ll have a need to come around here for some time anyway, though I mean every word of my apology. Perhaps one day we could even call ourselves friends, and just maybe I’ll bring you along for a tour of Hell.”  
  
Matt straightened with excitement. “Yeah, that would be awesome.”  
  
Kira slapped him on the arm and gave him her trademark ‘what the fuck’ face.  
  
“I mean, uh maybe if you have some books or maps I could look at or something, that would also be cool. I suppose.”  
  
Lilith clasped her hands together as she regarded the two of them. “I will see what I can do. Until then, I wish you many happy experiences in your brief and meaningless lives.” With a snap of her finger, she vanished into a burst of flame.  
  
A long silence hung between them again when Kira said, “She really has a way of talking to we sad mortals, doesn’t she?”  
  
“Yeah, you could say that.” Matt looked at her looking at him, then they both broke into laughter.  
  
Kira stood and held her hand out to him. “Come on, I’m sure pizza will be here soon.” She helped him stand and he followed her back into Ben’s place.  
  
The familiar stink of stale weed greeted them as they went back inside and Matt was glad to see everyone else laughing and in generally good spirits despite everything that happened. His eyes went immediately to Daisy who got up to greet him again. Kira silently stalked over to Ben, who had also apparently showered, and gave him a peck on the lips.  
  
“Food’s on the way. I got mushrooms on your half and green peppers on mine. Is everything cool… between you and Kira, I mean,” Daisy said, fidgeting with his fingers.  
  
“Yeah, we’re good. Still struggling with the knowledge that demons are real and apparently so is Hell, but other than that… we’re good.”  
  
Daisy sighed, “Yeah, that one’s… kinda deep. I’d rather not think about it right now.  I'm really summoning the spirit and strength of Buffy Summers right now.”  
  
He smiled, thinking about Lilith’s apology and what she said about the frailty of human life. In a way, she had put things into perspective for him and suddenly his job loss, the bills, the house, and everything didn’t seem so bad. He surprised his wife with a short kiss before pulling her into a hug.  
  
“We’ll be alright,” he said, kissing the top of her head.  
  
“I know,” she replied.  
  
Kylo had gone into the kitchen to grab a drink from the fridge when he announced, “Hey, who got the cake?”  
  
All heads turned toward him. Ben walked over first. “I didn’t have any cake in there. Are one of you dorks sneaking cakes into my fridge?”  
  
Matt looked at Daisy, then Rey and Kira and everyone shook their heads. Kylo pulled the offending baked good out and set it on the counter. They all gathered around to see for themselves.  
  
It was covered with blood red frosting and accented by black buttercream flowers with hand-drawn cartoons beneath a script like font. The caricatures were obviously Lucifer and Lilith, but in Chibi form with tears of blue frosting falling from their eyes. The message scrawled above them said only:  
  
“Sorry for the misunderstanding, humans. No hard feelings?”  
  
They all shared a look with each other, no one daring to speak first, that is until Kira said, “Well… is someone gonna cut it or what? I’m fucking starving and Pizza isn’t here yet.”  
  
Matt regarded her then Daisy and Ben. “I’m down for some Hell cake. It’s probably organic, gluten and GMO-free, I’m assuming."  
  
Rey sighed in annoyance, “Fine. Cut me up some Hell cake too. I just hope it doesn’t steal our souls or something.”  
  
“Only one way to find out,” Kylo said as he pulled the knife and sliced the first corner.  
  
It turned out that the cake was quite delicious and no one’s soul was sucked out of their bodies. Pizza arrived soon after and everyone greedily dove in. The rest of the afternoon was a blur of laughter, revelations, quiet discussions and the simple enjoyment of each other’s company.  
  
Matt looked over to see Kira holding up a garlic knot that Ben eagerly chomped with a growl. Rey and Kylo were trying and failing to have a not-so-clandestine talk about their sex life, thinking no one heard them, and Daisy was going on about ideas for their next D&D campaign. He listened, but he didn’t hear her words.  
  
He was reveling in the moment of their presence, all of them, friends, brothers, lovers. For some reason knowing that Demons were real didn’t affect him as much as he would have thought, it was just another strange experience in a mortal existence that was surely brief, but far from meaningless. The companionship he saw and felt around him was stronger than any magic or sexual desire, and just then he knew that things would be alright.  
  
He knew that everything would be alright…  
  
… Demons be damned.


End file.
